Teens and Internet Safety

Learn more about teen Internet Addiction and Cyber Safety on my new educational website - Wrapped in the Web at www.sue-scheff.net.

The Dirt E-Secrets of an Internet Kid

“Get Out Of My Facebook!”

A Translation For Parents: Instant Kids Growing Up in an Online World An Ebook by Vanessa Van Petten

You’re About to Learn Internet SecretsThat Most Adults Will Never Know

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Sue Scheff: Current Online Trends with Teen Internet Obsession

Current Online Trends

Online transparency with regards to one’s personal life has become more and more pervasive over the past few years. With the evolution of the Internet and its capabilities has come the ability to find out almost anything about someone online. There are some specific venues that can be particularly dangerous for teens because of the information these sites allow and encourage them to post about themselves. Parents should be educated on these sites and on what they offer their users. As a parent, you don’t necessarily have to restrict your teen from using them, but you should definitely know what they’re used for and who uses them. On this page we’ll provide you with information about some of the most popular sites teenagers are using today.

MySpace
Chat Rooms and Message Boards
Instant Messaging Clients
Online Video Gaming
Facebook
Photobucket and Flickr
MySpace
How It Works

MySpace is an online social networking site driven by music and housing nearly 50,000,000 members of all ages around the world. It is, in fact, the most popular website in the world. With all of the negative press surrounding the site in recent months, it is important to understand the facts, dangers and myths being passed from the media to parents and families.

Registering for a MySpace account is free and requires only a legitimate email address to activate. Currently, the registrant must be 14 years or older, however, no method is in place to verify birthdates. Upon successful registration, the new user can add a profile picture, photo album, bio and contact information along with their interests and also, where they go to school. Profiles also include a blog, or journal, where the user can write anything they wish for their friends to see.

A MySpace profile revolves around friends, or a collection of other MySpace profiles belonging to other people grouped and linked to and from the user's page. Most of the communication happening between MySpace users is with their respective friends. Finding friends is easy. Once the user has set up their profile, they are able to use the site's search function to seek out classmates, friends and celebrities by name, email or screen name. Once the user has found a profile, they can send that person a "Friend Request". The next time the person logs on to their profile, they are notified of this request and can either approve or deny it. Users can also send friend requests while browsing profile of the user they'd like to befriend, using a button in place on every profile.

Once the user has sent and received friend requests that have been approved, they have created their network. Users continue to add friends as time goes on, and can remove friends at any time. These friends are allowed to place comments on the user's profile, which are viewable to any person visiting the user's profile. They can also send private messages through the site's email system, which are seen only by the user.

While most activity on MySpace is between friends, profiles are public domain and can be viewed by any person surfing the web. Because of the obvious risks involved with this, MySpace's administration has imposed many restrictions to secure users. In order to use the site's search function, the searcher must be registered with the site. In addition, any unregistered user is may view a profile, but cannot view the user's photo album. While, as mentioned earlier, MySpace registrants must be 14 years old, users under 16 years old must have a private profile. This means that surfers who are not on the user's friend list only see the user's screen name, location and picture when visiting the profile. All other information is hidden. Of course, this security restriction is flawed - MySpace has no way of validating the actual age of the user. To provide higher security to any user, MySpace allows privacy for any profile at the user's request.

Talking to your Teen

It is a common fact that most teens, whether you know it or not, are MySpace members and actively nurture their profile. Most likely, they share contact information, pictures and thoughts with friends from school and other activities. Most, in fact, view their profile as a status symbol.

As a parent, the entire concept of MySpace may be confusing or worrisome. It is understandable that you may feel inclined to completely ban your teen from the site! The truth is, however, that with the Internet being as accessible as it is, it is possible that they will access the site from other locations, other than your home. Even if you force your teen to cancel their membership, it is entirely possible that they will create a new profile and continue to use it. As prevalent as Myspace is through the teenage culture, parents must communicate with their teens and come to a compromise.

Suggest that your teen, regardless of his/her age, keeps his/her profile set to "Private" and leave out information regarding their location.

Remind your teen that pictures uploaded to their MySpace profile can be viewed and downloaded by others. Suggest a picture limit and discuss the appropriate types of pictures he/she should be sharing with the world.

While most teens will keep their friends down to only people they know or bands/celebrities, some will allow strangers to add them as friends. Make it very clear that anyone can have a Myspace, and include fake information. Have an open conversation about Internet predators and how serious the risk is. Don't use scare tactics or manipulation; be truthful. Talk about current cases being reported through the media and how he/she feels.

Rather than spying anonymously on your child's MySpace Profile, ask him/her for permission to see it. Their privacy is very important to them, and they will feel violated if you come to them with print outs of their comments and blogs. Voice your concerns; try to explain your fears of the risks involved. If they understand your position, they may be more inclined to prove that they are being careful and safe.

If problems still occur, require your teen to give you access to their account login and password.

Chat Rooms and Message Boards

Today's Internet is becoming more and more interactive. Most television stations, celebrities and musicians have websites with pictures, information and more importantly, message board communities. Sue Scheff and other parents at P.U.R.E. have also met parents who have used message boards to communicate with other parents.

In the early days of the Internet, many people used chat rooms to message each other nearly instantly. Now that Instant Messenger services such as AIM, MSN Messenger and Yahoo! Messenger are available, chat rooms have become nearly extinct.

Message boards are different from chat rooms. In a chat room, users register and talk to other users in nearly real time through an interactive client on a website dedicated to only chatting. A message board is a part of a larger site, such as the website for TV channel MTV, and consists of a forum for registered users to leave messages, or posts about the site's subject. These messages do not use an interactive client for real time display and reply, but instead work as a virtual cork board for messages to be left, read, and replied to by other users. In both cases, anyone can register for an account with little to no validation, and any member can communicate with any member.

Many teens enjoy visiting message boards on the sites of their favorite celebrities, and participate in conversation with other fans. Most message boards have moderators; hired by the site's administrators to "police" the behavior of posters. These moderators are able to delete inappropriate posts and ban violating members.

While chat rooms and message boards can provide a great platform upon which teens can come together and share information and experiences, they are also dangerous when it comes to taking responsibility for actions. In real life, when we say certain things or exhibit certain behavior, we are aware of the consequences of those actions. We know that what we do is being showcased in public and we therefore, for the most part, censor ourselves in order to avoid reprimand and disagreement from peers. In reality, we are responsible for our words and actions and own them on a daily basis, whether we are at work, school, or just hanging out with friends.

The Internet gives us a medium upon which we often feel we can act in any way we please without having to face any repercussions. Though this essentially isn’t true, teens are at times lured in by the anonymity of the web, enticed by the idea that they can say anything to anyone without consequences. In a sense, the Internet takes away the idea of taking responsibility for one’s own actions. This is perhaps one of the most appealing facets of it, yet also one of the riskiest. Part of maturing has to do with being able to recognize faults and mistakes and having to make up for them in the best ways possible. If we remove the idea of accountability, then we also take away a teen’s ability to mentally and emotionally develop fully.

Instant Messaging Clients

Many teens today are using Instant Messaging Clients, interactive, real time chatting interfaces, which are downloaded and accessed directly from the computer's hard drive. There are 6 main companies providing this service: Microsoft (MSN Instant Messenger), AOL (AIM Instant Messenger) Yahoo (Yahoo Instant Messenger), Skype, ICQ and Google (Gmail email messenger). In any case, the client can be logged in to with the user's ID and password. They can then send "instant messages" back and forth between friends, who must be added by the user.

Because these clients are contained on your home computer, it is easy to keep an eye on your teen's activity. Often, teens will use instant messengers to talk with their friends much like they would over the telephone. They can talk to many other users at the same time, and have conversations between groups of people. It is generally safe, especially when the computer is kept in a visible and safe place. Parents who are concerned about teens using instant messengers while they are home alone might allow the installation of the software only on the computer's administrative account, which can be password protected.

Online Video Gaming

As more and more American households purchase home computers and game systems such as the Nintendo Wii, Playstation 3 and Xbox 360, kids, teens and parents are getting in to gaming. For many families, game systems are shared and can be an enjoyable family activity. Some teens enjoy spending time with brain-intensive games made for solo play. With the new generation of gaming systems and PC's, players are even able to log on to the Internet and play games with fellow gaming strangers around the world. While many are able to have healthy relationships with video games, too many teens are finding themselves stuck inside this virtual reality, especially when it comes to online, multi-player games.

Because there have been numerous articles and websites published on the popular games out today, we won't go in to details on titles here. If you are looking for information on certain games, we suggest Ask About Games , a site complied of rating and game information just for parents.

Facebook

Facebook has perhaps become one of the most, if not the most, popular social networking site on the Net. Facebook experiences hundreds of thousands of sign-ups per day. It was developed by a college student, and is run largely by young people, so it’s always updating and keeping up with current trends. On this forum, users create a profile with their information on it. They have the option to post a photo of themselves, provide contact information, showcase religious and political views, favorite music, movies, and books, and even create photo albums.

The social aspect of Facebook is its most enticing feature, as it allows users to keep in touch with friends via several different applications. A user may add someone as a friend and that person must confirm that he or she is a friend. The ways to communicate and have your voice heard are ten-fold. For one, Facebook features an application called a “wall,” or the section on each person’s profile that allows his or her friends to make comments. Comments are largely not monitored by Facebook, so wall comments can often be obscene and contain vulgarity or references to other profane material. In addition to the wall, Facebook has also introduced “Facebook Chat,” an instant messenger service a user can utilize while logged in to Facebook. The site also allows its users to send and receive messages from each other, just as an email client would.

Like any online social network, Facebook can and does pose problems for teens if they aren’t careful. It is open to anyone, so the clientele spans across many age groups, schools, and other networks. However, Facebook does offer privacy options, and parents should inform their child of the dangers of not employing these privacy settings. There are settings that can make it so that only a user’s friends can view his or her profile. According to one’s preferences, he or she can set his privacy options so the profile is as protected as possible. As long as these settings are in use, Facebook is a safe and friendly way to keep in touch with friends.

Photobucket and Flickr

Photobucket and Flickr are two websites that allow users to upload photos and share them with other users. They can be categorized under the social network grouping because they permit members to make comments and, much like Facebook and Myspace, add friends. Users are also encouraged to make comments on other peoples’ photos. Photobucket and Flickr are potentially less dangerous than other actual social networks because their main purpose isn’t to create connections between users; rather, the main goal is to present an online platform where people can host all of their digital photos in a neat and organized fashion. Sharing and commenting between friends is merely an option of both services. However, sometimes, teens will join the site solely for displaying party pictures or photos of them essentially testing the limits of their adolescence. Again, privacy settings are the key to preventing these types of dangerous situations from occurring.

Both Photobucket and Flickr offer their users privacy settings like those featured by Facebook and Myspace. Flickr’s “Privacy and Permissions” page allows a member to decide who can download and share their photos and videos, who can print their photos, and who can blog their material. It also allows users to decide if they want their profile or photos to appear in searches. Flickr’s privacy options are extensive and, if used to their extent, can provide a secure environment on which teenagers can safely post and share their media.

Photobucket’s privacy settings are a bit less extensive than Flickr’s, but they can still provide a good deal of protection nonetheless. The “Album Settings” section allows a user to decide whether or not to make an album public or private. If the member chooses the private setting, that profile will not be made available on any Photobucket search and will not be viewable by anyone but that person’s friends. Both of these sites can be perfectly safe for teenage use if used in the correct way.

Sue Scheff: Bullies in Cyberspace

By http://www.education.com/

Everyone remembers the school bully in their lives. Maybe they stole your bike, or bloodied your nose, or spread a nasty rumor that had you hiding out in the bathroom. Whatever they did, they made life miserable. But as bad as they were, you could identify them, predict their behavior and try to steer clear.

Unfortunately for your kids, that may no longer be the case. That’s because bullies can still be on the school grounds, but they can also be in cyberspace, lurking where no one can see them.

Cyberbullying is on the rise, and the bad guys are not always who you think. A bully can be a girl spreading rumors about a former friend, or a student trying to get revenge on a teacher who gave them a bad grade, or a group of kids playing a prank on an unsuspecting schoolmate. Cyberbullying is a complex beast. Often it starts with otherwise nice kids from nice families who go online to “have a little fun” at someone else’s expense. But it can get out of hand very quickly.

Bullies are resourceful. With all the high-tech tools out there, they can take their pick from cell phones, pagers, websites, blogs, chat rooms, IMs, or emails. They can go on a site and invite other people in to help bully their victim – by asking them to comment on their picture. They can create a webpage that looks like it belongs to the person being bullied, but is malicious. They can enter an email address and have their victim spammed with messages from websites they’ve never visited. They can put up embarrassing pictures, or even use a tool like Photoshop to adjust a picture and make it look different.

Read entire article here: http://www.education.com/magazine/article/Ed_Bullies_Cyberspace_2/

Sue Scheff: Online Gossip by Connect with Kids

By Connect with Kids

“Sure enough, I had a parent come to my door and say, ‘Your daughter has been saying some rather nasty things about my daughter on this website.’”

– Patti Thrift, Mother

High school students have always spread gossip in the halls, on the walls and on the phone. Now, it’s on the Internet, too. On various message boards specific to communities around the country, kids write about whom they hate, whom they think is pregnant or has an STD and record other often hurtful rumors that may or may not be true.

Sixteen-year-old Jessica remembers once when some kids at her school wrote cruel things about her on the Web.

“They were just making fun of me,” she says. “You know, she’s really ugly, she’s this, she’s that, ba-ba-ba.”

Jessica’s 11-year-old sister, Emma, admits she’s used the Web to write nasty things about another girl, though she regrets it now.

“After a while, you’re like, how could I have been so mean? Like, why did I do that?” she says.

The other girl’s father eventually became so frustrated with what Emma had said that he came to her door and demanded her mother make her stop.

Experts say gossip on the Internet can be more harmful than the old-fashioned kind. It’s often anonymous because kids use fake screen names. It has the power of the written word, so it lasts longer and is taken more seriously. And, unlikely ugly words on the bathroom wall, there’s no way to scratch it out.

“Online gossip is to hearsay gossip probably what nukes are to dynamite,” says Dr. Ramah Commanday, a school psychologist. “It can get EXTREMELY raunchy.”

If your kids are victims of online gossip, Dr. Commanday suggests putting the gossip into perspective.

“Point out to them how what’s being said on the screen differs from what everyone knows about you as a person,” Dr. Commanday says.

You can also try what worked for Emma: Keep your kids off the offensive website!

“When she was using it all the time, her name was on there all the time. People were writing things about her,” explains Patti Thrift, Emma’s mother. “Since she has no longer had access to that, she’s no longer a topic of conversation.”

Experts say that any time your child is on the Internet, you should know what he or she is doing there. Online gossip is just another reason why.

Tips for Parents

Most of us remember passing notes during class or swapping stories over lunch with our friends in middle and high school. But with more teens accessing the Internet these days, it appears that gossip has gone high-tech. Teens are using message boards, instant messaging and even email to air out their frustrations – often in hurtful language – about their teachers and peers.

According to an Internet Report from the UCLA Center for Communication Policy, 97% of kids aged 12 to 18 access the Internet on a regular basis. What they’re doing on the Internet, however, may be surprising. The U.S. Department of Justice reports that approximately one in every 17 kids is threatened or harassed while using the Internet. In fact, most don’t tell their parents or other adults, and if they do, the adults often don’t know how to stop the online teasing.

Gossiping, whether it’s in the halls or on a message board, more often than not leads to hurt feelings. According to the Nemours Foundation, if teens spend enough time gossiping and passing on stories they don’t know are true, eventually no one will believe anything they say, even when it is the truth. Teens who gossip shouldn’t expect to be trusted ever again. Once friends learn that a peer can’t resist spreading secrets around, they won’t tell him or her anything personal. And if a teen gossips about personal or important issues, he or she could even end up in trouble at school and at home. Teachers don’t appreciate students who make it tough for other students to learn, and parents won’t be happy to hear that their child is causing trouble in school.

If you’ve heard your teen taking teasing and gossiping to a hurtful level, it’s time to remedy the situation. The experts at Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Minnesota offer the following advice for curbing your teen’s gossiping and teasing:

Cultivate your teen’s compassion. Talk to him or her about feelings – how emotional blows can hurt as much as physical ones. “You wouldn’t throw a rock at that boy, would you? So you shouldn’t call him a ‘zit-face’ either.”

Give your teen a simple test he or she can use to judge if his or her teasing is playful or hurtful: “How would I feel if someone said this about me?”

Talk to your teen about the when and where of playful teasing. He or she shouldn’t always resort to sarcasm or jokes at someone else’s expense in order to get a laugh.

Examine your own behavior and that of other family members. Do you rib your children at length, even after they plead with you to stop? Do you tease inappropriately, that is, about the way people look or the habits they have? Are you confusing razzing with teaching and discipline – for instance, do you communicate your frustration about your teen’s messy room by calling him “Mr. Slob”? Make sure that your own teasing (and that of everyone else in your household) is good-natured, not aggressive or manipulative.

As a parent, it is also important to regulate how your teen uses the Internet. If you know what your teen is doing while online, you can better prevent him or her from visiting message boards where the temptation to gossip exists. The Media Awareness Network suggests considering the following questions concerning how your teen surfs the Net:

Are you involved in your teen’s online activities?

Do you know what he or she is doing and whom your teen is talking to when he or she is on the Internet?

Does your family have a set of rules or an agreement for appropriate Internet use?

Do you make Internet use a family activity by guiding your teen to good sites and teaching him or her how to do safe, effective searches?

Have you taught your teen not to believe everything he or she reads online and to check online information with an adult or with another source?

If your teen has her or his own website, have you checked to make sure it doesn’t contain harmful or hurtful information?

Have you talked to your teen about responsible online behavior?

Does he or she understand that making threats or harassing others online can be considered illegal activities?

References
Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Minnesota
Media Awareness Network
Nemours Foundation
UCLA Center for Communication Policy
U.S. Department of Justice

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Screen Addicts

By Connect with Kids
Screen Addicts

New research shows that each week our children spend five hours online, six hours on the phone, eight hours playing video games, 12 hours listening to music, and 30 hours watching TV or movies. The American Medical Association reports that five million kids are addicted to videogames.

This program explores the dangers in the technology that has overtaken our kids’ lives. The profiles include four siblings constantly fighting over use of the family computer, a teenager whose addiction to online pornography started when he was 12 years old, and another teen who got hooked on Internet gambling and is now paying off $18,000 in credit card debt.

The program also examines choices parents can make about how to protect their children from these hazards; the research is clear that one parenting style is far more effective than several others.

Sue Scheff: Warning Signs of Internet Addiction

Warning Signs your Teen May Be Addicted
Psychological and Physical Signs and Symptoms

If you are worried that your teen may be suffering from an unhealthy addiction to the Internet, there are many physical and mental warning signs to watch for. Many of these symptoms are very similar to those of depression and anxiety, another very serious condition affecting teens today. If you feel your teen is suffering from depression, please visit Sue Scheff™'s web resource on teen depression and anxiety.

Feelings of intense happiness and euphoria while using the Internet, and feelings of depression, anxiety or irritability if away from the computer

Cravings for the Internet - Never having enough time with it

Neglecting family and friends - spending more time with the computer and less time doing activities previously enjoyed.

Getting behind on homework or school activities

Lying about what they are doing while online

Complains of dry eyes

Complains of Headaches

Complains of Backaches

Changes in eating habits such as skipping meals or over eating

Neglect of personal hygiene

Problems with sleep

What Should Parents Do?

Examine your Internet habits. Do you spend too much time in front of the screen? The habits of you and your family impact your teen. Be a good role model!
Look for the above warning signs, and take action if you feel your teen may be at risk. Seek professional help.

Always keep the computer in a common area of the home where it can be monitored by you.
DO NOT BAN THE INTERNET. Instead, work with your teen on a time schedule that feels fair to the both of you.

Encourage social activity outside of the Internet. Because chatting, emails, and other online social media make it easy for teens to stay at home, open the door to more outside activity. Plan events with friends and family.

http://www.helpyourteens.com/

Learn More

Sue Scheff: ONLINE Trends with Teens

Currect ONLINE Trends

MySpace

How It Works

MySpace is an online social networking site driven by music and housing nearly 50,000,000 members of all ages around the world. It is, in fact, the most popular website in the world. With all of the negative press surrounding the site in recent months, it is important to understand the facts, dangers and myths being passed from the media to parents and families.

Registering for a MySpace account is free and requires only a legitimate email address to activate. Currently, the registrant must be 14 years or older, however, no method is in place to verify birthdates. Upon successful registration, the new user can add a profile picture, photo album, bio and contact information along with their interests and also, where they go to school. Profiles also include a blog, or journal, where the user can write anything they wish for their friends to see.

A MySpace profile revolves around friends, or a collection of other MySpace profiles belonging to other people grouped and linked to and from the user's page. Most of the communication happening between MySpace users is with their respective friends. Finding friends is easy. Once the user has set up their profile, they are able to use the site's search function to seek out classmates, friends and celebrities by name, email or screen name. Once the user has found a profile, they can send that person a "Friend Request". The next time the person logs on to their profile, they are notified of this request and can either approve or deny it. Users can also send friend requests while browsing profile of the user they'd like to befriend, using a button in place on every profile.

Once the user has sent and received friend requests that have been approved, they have created their network. Users continue to add friends as time goes on, and can remove friends at any time. These friends are allowed to place comments on the user's profile, which are viewable to any person visiting the user's profile. They can also send private messages through the site's email system, which are seen only by the user.

While most activity on MySpace is between friends, profiles are public domain and can be viewed by any person surfing the web. Because of the obvious risks involved with this, MySpace's administration has imposed many restrictions to secure users. In order to use the site's search function, the searcher must be registered with the site. In addition, any unregistered user is may view a profile, but cannot view the user's photo album. While, as mentioned earlier, MySpace registrants must be 14 years old, users under 16 years old must have a private profile. This means that surfers who are not on the user's friend list only see the user's screen name, location and picture when visiting the profile. All other information is hidden. Of course, this security restriction is flawed - MySpace has no way of validating the actual age of the user. To provide higher security to any user, MySpace allows privacy for any profile at the user's request.

Talking to your Teen

It is a common fact that most teens, whether you know it or not, are MySpace members and actively nurture their profile. Most likely, they share contact information, pictures and thoughts with friends from school and other activities. Most, in fact, view their profile as a status symbol.

As a parent, the entire concept of MySpace may be confusing or worrisome. It is understandable that you may feel inclined to completely ban your teen from the site! The truth is, however, that with the Internet being as accessible as it is, it is possible that they will access the site from other locations, other than your home. Even if you force your teen to cancel their membership, it is entirely possible that they will create a new profile and continue to use it. As prevalent as Myspace is through the teenage culture, parents must communicate with their teens and come to a compromise.

Suggest that your teen, regardless of his/her age, keeps his/her profile set to "Private" and leave out information regarding their location.
Remind your teen that pictures uploaded to their MySpace profile can be viewed and downloaded by others. Suggest a picture limit and discuss the appropriate types of pictures he/she should be sharing with the world.
While most teens will keep their friends down to only people they know or bands/celebrities, some will allow strangers to add them as friends. Make it very clear that anyone can have a Myspace, and include fake information. Have an open conversation about Internet predators and how serious the risk is. Don't use scare tactics or manipulation; be truthful. Talk about current cases being reported through the media and how he/she feels.
Rather than spying anonymously on your child's MySpace Profile, ask him/her for permission to see it. Their privacy is very important to them, and they will feel violated if you come to them with print outs of their comments and blogs. Voice your concerns; try to explain your fears of the risks involved. If they understand your position, they may be more inclined to prove that they are being careful and safe.

If problems still occur, require your teen to give you access to their account login and password.

Chat Rooms and Message Boards

Today's Internet is becoming more and more interactive. Most television stations, celebrities and musicians have websites with pictures, information and more importantly, message board communities. Sue Scheff and other parents at P.U.R.E. have also met parents who have used message boards to communicate with other parents.

In the early days of the Internet, many people used chat rooms to message each other nearly instantly. Now that Instant Messenger services such as AIM, MSN Messenger and Yahoo! Messenger are available, chat rooms have become nearly extinct.

Message boards are different from chat rooms. In a chat room, users register and talk to other users in nearly real time through an interactive client on a website dedicated to only chatting. A message board is a part of a larger site, such as the website for TV channel MTV, and consists of a forum for registered users to leave messages, or posts about the site's subject. These messages do not use an interactive client for real time display and reply, but instead work as a virtual cork board for messages to be left, read, and replied to by other users. In both cases, anyone can register for an account with little to no validation, and any member can communicate with any member.

Many teens enjoy visiting message boards on the sites of their favorite celebrities, and participate in conversation with other fans. Most message boards have moderators; hired by the site's administrators to "police" the behavior of posters. These moderators are able to delete inappropriate posts and ban violating members.

Instant Messaging Clients

Many teens today are using Instant Messaging Clients, interactive, real time chatting interfaces, which are downloaded and accessed directly from the computer's hard drive. There are 6 main companies providing this service: Microsoft (MSN Instant Messenger), AOL (AIM Instant Messenger) Yahoo (Yahoo Instant Messenger), Skype, ICQ and Google (Gmail email messenger). In any case, the client can be logged in to with the user's ID and password. They can then send "instant messages" back and forth between friends, who must be added by the user.

Because these clients are contained on your home computer, it is easy to keep an eye on your teen's activity. Often, teens will use instant messengers to talk with their friends much like they would over the telephone. They can talk to many other users at the same time, and have conversations between groups of people. It is generally safe, especially when the computer is kept in a visible and safe place. Parents who are concerned about teens using instant messengers while they are home alone might allow the installation of the software only on the computer's administrative account, which can be password protected.

Online Video Gaming

As more and more American households purchase home computers and game systems such as the Nintendo Wii, Playstation 3 and Xbox 360, kids, teens and parents are getting in to gaming. For many families, game systems are shared and can be an enjoyable family activity. Some teens enjoy spending time with brain-intensive games made for solo play. With the new generation of gaming systems and PC's, players are even able to log on to the Internet and play games with fellow gaming strangers around the world. While many are able to have healthy relationships with video games, too many teens are finding themselves stuck inside this virtual reality, especially when it comes to online, multi-player games.

Because there have been numerous articles and websites published on the popular games out today, we won't go in to details on titles here. If you are looking for information on certain games, we suggest Ask About Games , a site complied of rating and game information just for parents.

Sue Scheff: The Internet Generation

Today’s kids have grown up online. Finding their way around the Internet and posting on social networking sites like MySpace and Facebook is part of their every day life. But in this online world …

What are they saying? Who are they “talking” to? How can we keep our kids safe from danger – both emotional and physical?Did you know that 70 percent of teens on the Internet have accidentally found pornography on the web; 60 percent have been contacted online by a stranger; another 60 percent have been victims of online bullying; and 45 percent have posted personal information?

The Internet Generation tells of online experiences and stories your kids may not be telling you about this 24/7 cyber- world. You’ll hear insights on setting specific rules, keeping track of kids’ online visits, and talking with them – armed with hard facts and real-life examples – about the very real threats out there.

When it comes to Internet know-how, can parents ever catch up with their kids? Yes. Watch The Internet Generation and start the conversation with your children about what’s on the Internet – the good and the bad. The Internet is here to stay, and it’s our responsibility to keep kids safe, especially when they’re online.
By Connect with Kids

Sue Scheff: Find out More About Teen Internet Addiction

More and more we are getting calls that today's kids seem to be addicted to their screens - whether it is texting, IM'g or just late night Cyber-Chats, parents need to educate themselves on the where their kids are surfing online.

Click here for more information.

Sue Scheff - Websites Promoting Internet Safety

Connect with Kids constantly keeps parents updated on today’s kids and issues surrounding them. Today’s techy generation need even stronger parenting.

Reputation Defender MyChild is a great place for parents to start in keeping their child’s privacy “private!”

Sue Scheff: Children and Safer Net Use

April 2, 2008


Many teenagers and younger children are signing up for social networking sites says telecoms regulator Ofcom in a report.

In a research exercise covering 3,000 children it found that about a quarter of those aged between eight and 11 have a profile page on sites such as MySpace, Facebook and Bebo.

This is despite the fact that these sites have a self-imposed minimum age limit of 13 or 14.

The news comes soon after the release of the Byron Review which investigated the risks children faced from exposure to harmful or inappropriate material on the internet or in video games.

At the same time the Home Office is preparing to issue recommendations on the steps social network sites should take to make themselves safer for children.

BBC News looks at the issue and what parents can do to keep up with their children and ensure they stay safe online.

What has Ofcom found?

The telecoms regulator carried out an in-depth study of how people, both young and old, use social network sites.

On these sites, which includes destinations such as MySpace, Facebook, Bebo, users maintain a webpage or profile about what they are up to. This can include blog or journal entries, pictures, videos and other information about their daily lives.


CEOP online safety tips for parents
Know what your children are doing online
Get them to show you how to do things
Help them understand not to give any personal information to online friends
Teach them to ignore spam
Teach them to ignore files sent by people they don't know
Teach them some people lie online
Tell them to keep online friends online
Keep talking so they know they can always tell you if something makes them feel uncomfortable
Show children how to block people online and how to report them

Most allow users to invite people they know to join the site and become part of an online group of friends.

In recent months social network sites have become enormously popular MySpace, for instance, has many millions of dedicated users.

Ofcom talked to 5,000 adults and 3,000 children and found 49% of those aged between eight and 17 have a profile on these sites. As noted above many children with profiles are below the minimum age set, but not actively enforced, by the sites themselves.

Perhaps worryingly for parents 41% of the children Ofcom questioned has their profile set so anyone, rather than just friends could view it.

At the same time the Byron Review warned of a growing "digital divide" between parents and their net-savvy children.

Why is this a problem?

The combination of children sharing sensitive data with anyone who cares to look and parents who do not monitor what their offspring do online could be a recipe for disaster.


CEOP online safety tips for children
Don't give your real name on gaming sites
Best not to have anyone on your IM (instant messaging) list that you don't know in the real world
You can block people in IM and chat areas
Best not to meet people you meet online, they might not be who they say they are
Tell an adult you trust if an online friend asks to meet you
Report a contact to CEOP if you think they might be an adult

Many children have received unwanted approaches from paedophiles while using the net. Figures quoted in the Byron Review suggest that 31% of 9-19 year olds who use the net weekly have received sexual comments via e-mail, instant message, chat or text message.

Research by the Child Exploitation and Online Protection centre (CEOP) suggests that chat rooms and instant messages are the preferred route for such contact but social networking sites are becoming popular too.

These dangers should not be exaggerated. It is still the case that very few abusers of children are strangers to their victims.

Are there other risks?

Publishing sensitive and personal information could leave people and families open to fraud and identity theft.

Unsupervised children might also open messages which harbour viruses or visit booby-trapped sites that infect PCs with spyware.

Children could also be at risk from so called "cyber bullying" in which online sites are used to mock them or they are bombarded with nasty messages.

What is being done to tackle this?

Many websites, not just social network sites, discourage children from registering but the restrictions are often easy to circumvent.

Few sites actively police these age limits though many will remove content if it breaches their codes of conduct.

Some places, such as MSN Messenger, also feature an icon via which children can report when they see or suffer inappropriate sexual contact.

On 4 April the Home Office is due to publish its guidelines for social network sites and what they can do to make using them safer. Currently there are no laws governing how children can set up profiles on social sites.

The government has also been behind many campaigns that aim to educate children about the dangers of using the net. Europe also runs the Safer Internet Day campaign which targets schools and runs events to get children thinking about ways to stay safe online.

Other places to look include ThinkUKnow, Get Safe Online and the Internet Safety Zone. Many publish easy to understand advice guides that help explain the risks and actions that can be taken.

What can parents do to help?

A lot. Every report on net safety stresses that parents have a huge role to play in monitoring their children and educating them about responsible web use.

One of the best ways to keep an eye on what a child does online is to site home computers in family areas rather than in their own bedroom. Children are far less likely to indulge in risky behaviour if they know others can see what they are doing.

Many organisations recommend that parents get much more involved in what their children do online. One good tip is to get a child to explain what they are doing and teach their parents at the same time.

Parents should also impress on children that they should ignore spam, be suspicious of anyone sending attachments via e-mail and warn them that many people lie online and may not be who they claim to be.

Technical measures, such as filters and security software, can help but none are 100% effective. Parental involvement and monitoring are just as important.

Finally, parents also need to realise that even though children have a greater understanding of the risks that does not mean they stop taking risks.

Sue Scheff: Parenting are Learning More About Cyber Safety for their Kids

Beware on the Web

Cyberbullying a Growing Concern for Parents, Schools

By JENNIFER FICKLEY-BAKER
LEDGER CORRESPONDENT

With recent high-profiled cases revolving around cyberbullying - sending or receiving threatening messages online or via text message - teens' online interactions are becoming a growing concern for parents and school districts alike. A 2005 study on cyberbullying by Florida Atlantic University's Sameer Hinduja revealed that approximately 34.4 percent of adolescents reported experiencing some sort of cyberbullying.

What's even more troubling is that more than 40 percent of respondents didn't tell anyone about their cyberbullying experience.

Three recent cases of cyberbullying have shed light on just what a serious impact this type of bullying can have. Thirteen-year-old Megan Meier of Dardenne Prairie, Mo.; 15-year-old Jeffrey Johnston of Cape Coral; and 12-year-old Ryan Halligan of Essex Junction, Vt., each committed suicide after encountering separate acts of what their families consider to be cyberbullying.

In 2007, Meier hung herself after she was "dumped" by a male friend on MySpace, when in actuality the male friend was really a neighborhood girl and her mother posing as a teen boy.

Johnson killed himself in 2005 after receiving a string of threatening e-mails and Internet posts, and Halligan committed suicide in 2003 after false rumors about his sexual orientation spread online.

Though these cases represent the extreme end of the spectrum and each of these children may have had other factors affecting their emotional state, cyberbullying is an increasing problem that students across the nation are experiencing.

Cristin Cotton, a senior at Harrison Center for the Visual and Performing Arts, recently deleted her personal MySpace page. Not because she was being bullied, but because she wanted to avoid getting pulled into online drama.

"MySpace and Facebook and sites like that used to be a place to talk and hang out and stuff, but now girls get in fights online and guys get involved and it's a bad situation," Cotton said, and advises younger kids to be wary of what to post online. "Definitely be careful of what you say. I feel like a fight between you and your friend is a fight between you and your friend, not you and everyone else on the Internet."

When it comes to guarding against cyberbullying - or bullying of any kind - Polk County School District employs Jim Maxwell, a school psychologist who specializes in handling student conflict, as well as developing training for teachers on how to identify and deal with bullies.


WHO BECOMES A CYBERBULLY?

According to Maxwell, the cyberbully is a different kind of specimen than the average playground bully.

"The typical bully research indicates that kids that bully do so because it benefits them," he said. "It gives them a sense of control and power. ... Another characteristic of a bully is getting what he wants through intimidation, and that's the way it works at home. Often a bully at school is a child that's being bullied at home, generally by the dominant male in the house.

"The cyberbully who uses electronic media to repeatedly harass someone may be different. I suspect that the overall motives remain the same, but some cyberbully kids are simply bored. If you think of prank callers, they're just seeing if they can do it to do it. I think there's a wider variety of kids engaging in cyberbullying than in direct forms of bullying."

According to Maxwell, the school district does have the power to step in and punish those who engage in cyberbullying, even if the interactions do not occur on school property or on school-owned computers. If those online threats cause a disturbance at the school in the form of gossip, class disruption or a confrontation between the students, the school has the right to get involved, he said.


WHAT'S CYBERBULLYING AND WHAT'S A SPAT?

It is, however, difficult to define cyberbullying behavior. An administrator must look at the circumstances behind what is written. For example, was the student writing the message being sarcastic? Was the comment written in response to something the other person had written about them? Or are there specific threats involved?

"Typically, the way to distinguish between cyberbullying is that someone has to analyze what kind of threat is involved, how frequently it's being used, and the sort of nature of the threat. If it's a one-time thing, it's probably harassment," Maxwell said. "If it's in any way repeated or linked up with behaviors occurring in school, then you have a history of bullying."

Maxwell says the standard definition of bullying includes:

An intention to demean or embarrass or make someone feel powerless or actually hurt them.

Repetition over time, and

An imbalance of power between the bully and the victim.

"That's probably the hardest for law enforcement, parents and administrators to sort out," Maxwell said. "What if the victim has been annoying the kid that might be characterized as the bully and you have a kind of back-and-forth situation? I think that's more a feud or rivalry. In real bullying you have that repeated harassment and there's a real difference in the bully and victim."


IF YOU'RE BEING BULLIED

According to Maxwell, the best defense against cyberbullying is to actively protect your child's identity online, meaning that children and teens should take caution in who they give their e-mail address and phone number to, as well as what chat rooms or Web sites they visit.

He also recommends children keep an anonymous profile online. That means using a made-up username, not one that indicates a first or last name. Also, refrain from giving out personal information, like addresses and even what school they go to. If a cyberbully finds them anyway, a parent's first step is to make a record of the interaction and then head to the police.

"If you have a son or daughter and they really are being harassed, do a 'print screen' and save it as evidence of what's going on. Then talk to one of the authorities if there are serious threats, threats that imply that someone's going to get hurt. ... If it's more a school-related issue, talk to the principal or guidance counselor."

A "print screen" is a simple way to take a digital snapshot of an e-mail, instant message or message board posting that appears on your computer screen. Simply find the key on your computer's keyboard that says "Print Screen" or "PrtSc" and hit it once. It will take a snapshot of your current computer screen. Then paste it somewhere.

Lastly, Maxwell advises that parents do not approach the bully's parents about their children's online behavior. Most likely, your complaint will fall on deaf ears and may cause even more problems for the victim.

"The fact that a lot of times children are bullied at home means that their father or significant male gets what he wants through intimidation and is teaching this strategy to his child in an indirect way.

"If you go to someone like that and confront them about something their child has done wrong, you're likely to get bullied yourself and the interaction may not go well."

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff): The Internet Generation

The Internet Generation

Today’s kids have grown up online. Finding their way around the Internet and posting on social networking sites like MySpace and Facebook is part of their every day life. But in this online world … What are they saying? Who are they “talking” to? How can we keep our kids safe from danger – both emotional and physical?

Did you know that 70 percent of teens on the Internet have accidentally found pornography on the web; 60 percent have been contacted online by a stranger; another 60 percent have been victims of online bullying; and 45 percent have posted personal information?

The Internet Generation tells of online experiences and stories your kids may not be telling you about this 24/7 cyber- world. You’ll hear insights on setting specific rules, keeping track of kids’ online visits, and talking with them – armed with hard facts and real-life examples – about the very real threats out there.

When it comes to Internet know-how, can parents ever catch up with their kids? Yes. Watch The Internet Generation and start the conversation with your children about what’s on the Internet – the good and the bad. The Internet is here to stay, and it’s our responsibility to keep kids safe, especially when they’re online.

By Connect with Kids

Sue Scheff: Is your teen addicted to the Internet?

Warning Signs your Teen May Be Addicted

Psychological and Physical Signs and Symptoms

If you are worried that your teen may be suffering from an unhealthy addiction to the Internet, there are many physical and mental warning signs to watch for. Many of these symptoms are very similar to those of depression and anxiety, another very serious condition affecting teens today. If you feel your teen is suffering from depression, please visit Sue Scheff™'s web resource on teen depression and anxiety.

Feelings of intense happiness and euphoria while using the Internet, and feelings of depression, anxiety or irritability if away from the computer.

Cravings for the Internet - Never having enough time with it.

Neglecting family and friends - spending more time with the computer and less time doing activities previously enjoyed.

Getting behind on homework or school activities

Lying about what they are doing while online

Complains of dry eyes

Complains of Headaches

Complains of Backaches

Changes in eating habits such as skipping meals or over eating

Neglect of personal hygiene

Problems with sleep

What Should Parents Do?

Examine your Internet habits. Do you spend too much time in front of the screen? The habits of you and your family impact your teen. Be a good role model!

Look for the above warning signs, and take action if you feel your teen may be at risk. Seek professional help.
Always keep the computer in a common area of the home where it can be monitored by you.

DO NOT BAN THE INTERNET.

Instead, work with your teen on a time schedule that feels fair to the both of you.

Encourage social activity outside of the Internet. Because chatting, emails, and other online social media make it easy for teens to stay at home, open the door to more outside activity. Plan events with friends and family.

Find out more about Teen Internet Addiction.

Sue Scheff: Teenagers Obsessed with the Internet

The Controversy

While the idea of addiction possibly forming through over usage of the Internet has long been ignored, doctors and parents are beginning to take notice of this disturbing trend in teens.
The term "Internet addiction" was introduced in the late 1990s and has been dismissed by the majority of medical professionals.

Many believe that excessive time spent surfing the web is in fact a warning signal for a larger and more dangerous mental disease like depression. Others believe that while Internet addiction can exist on its own, the solitary behavior can lead to growing levels of depression, anxiety, self-consciousness and obesity.

Though the verdict is still out in the medical communities, parents worldwide are concerned over their teens as they spend more and more time in front of computer screens.

Sue Scheff™ parent advocate and founder of Parents Universal Resource Experts™, believes that Internet usage should be monitored closely by parents.

"Parents aren't as concerned with their teens who are online once in a while," said Scheff. "Parents are concerned with the teens who are completely addicted to MySpace or some other Web site. The ones who are not able to tear themselves away."

Sue Scheff™ along with so many parents, knows that that while internet addiction can be a symptom of or fuel a teenager's depression or anxiety, there are other dangers lurking from behind the web.

"The fact is that these teens can become introverts. It affects levels of growth and maturity." Scheff says. "The other thing is teens don't understand that people lie online, people aren't honest online.

Do you really know who is on the other end of those messages or chat rooms?"

As parents, we must take a stand together to educate others on the dangers of Internet addiction. Looking for support from other parents? Visit the official website of Sue Scheff™'s Parents Universal Resource Experts

Visit Wrapped in Web by Sue Scheff.

Bullying goes high tech in a cyber world

Another example of how parents need to take charge on what their kids are doing online - Cyberspace is becoming more and more risky - and Cyberbullying is climbing and harming more and more kids.

Bullying Goes High Tech in Cyber World
by Isabelle Mascarenas

Parents Universal Resource Experts is proactive in educating parents today on the issues surrounding our kids - the most critical today is the dangers of the Internet. As a Parent Advocate, (Sue Scheff), I believe we have to keep informed and up to date on Cyber-Safety.

Parents Learn About Online Safety

By: TAMMIE SLOUP, www.mywebtimes.com

Parents, get with the times.

That was Sarah Migas' opening message during a presentation about online safety Thursday night at Ottawa Township High School.

Social networking sites such as MySpace and Facebook and Internet chat rooms and instant messaging are becoming increasingly popular means for children and teenagers to socialize. While they have their positives, digital technology also can be dangerous.

"Kids are seeing the Internet as the wild wild West," said Migas, an Internet safety specialist with the Illinois Attorney General's Office.

Migas and Daniel Spillman, assistant attorney general with the high tech crimes bureau, talked to a handful of audience members, introducing what they referred to as a "travel guide" for parents to navigate their way through some of these social networking sites and learn the languages being used by children to communicate.

Migas said acronyms often are used amongst bloggers and instant messengers and are not always familiar to parents, who should be monitoring their children's online activities.

"It's like going to another country; you've got to learn the places and the language so you can keep up with the kids because predators know where the kids are," Migas said.

She pointed to examples such as A/S/L, which means age, sex, location. Predators can easily find a person with just that bit of information. Also, she cautioned parents about the acronym POS, which means parents over shoulder.

Internet chat rooms, sites people can access to discuss various topics in real time, also present possible dangerous encounters with predators.

Oftentimes, children will stumble upon sites because they're curious about the titles, and find themselves looking at sexually explicit photos, or conversations, without meaning to.

"And if your child actually talks to you about it, they should be praised. Often they are scared to talk because they're scared their computer privileges will be revoked," Migas said.

Spillman stressed he and Migas aren't trying to give out parenting advice, but threatening to yank the child's computer time away often hampers the child's willingness to open up about their Internet activities.

Online predators often will use what is referred to as "grooming" techniques to establish a relationship with a child, often times offering compliments about the child's looks or sympathizing with their problems.

Predators also are taking advantage of Web cams, soliciting children to take off their clothes by blackmailing them with personal information the predator threatens to share with the child's school or parents.

"These guys know how to get a hook in them and reel them in," Spillman said.

According to statistics, one in seven children will be approached online for sexual content. In the majority of cases, the predators are men.

While law enforcement does have the power to criminally charge predators, and authorities constantly monitor possibly dangerous encounters, Migas and Spillman said that's not enough eyes to protect children.

"We rely on parents," Migas said.

Keep the computer in an open area. Ask children about their Internet activities and monitor their social networking sites. Parents also can check recent activities on the computer by accessing the Internet history account in the control panel of the computer.

Blogs also have grown in popularity.

"Basically a blog is an online journal," Migas said, warning, "If you wouldn't want your grandma to see the pictures or read the content, don't post it."

Digital technology also has spurred what is deemed, "cyberbullying."

Instead of bullies preying on their victims in the halls of school or at the park, the tormenting is taking place online -- where the threats and harassment can be seen by anyone around the world.

"It's easy because they feel anonymous, and they don't see the reactions of the victims," Migas said.

Children can no longer take refuge in their homes from bullies.

"It can happen anywhere, anytime," Migas said.

According to statistics provided, more than 40 percent of children are bullied online at some point.

When a child feels threatened or harassed online, Migas and Spillman said the incident should be reported to parents and-or police. Also, any evidence should be printed and saved, and children should not retort in any way, as it can worsen the situation.

While many of the social networking sites do have safety measures, predators often find a way around them. Law enforcement also continues to monitor the Internet, but Internet dangers will be an ongoing issue in which authorities need the help of parents to fight.

"Unfortunately, I don't think this bureau will go under," Migas said of the attorney general's high tech crimes bureau.


Internet acronyms parents should know:

AITR: Adult In The Room

P911: Parent Emergency

PAW: Parents Are Watching

PIR: Parent In Room

POS: Parent Over Shoulder

MOS: Mom Over Shoulder

MIRL: Meet In Real Life

S2R: Send To Receive (pictures)

CD9: Code 9 (parents are around)

E or X: Ecstasy (the drug)

ASL(R P): Age Sex Location (Race / Picture)

TDTM: Talk Dirty To Me

(Sue Scheff) Teen Internet Addiction

For more information on Teen Internet Addiction click here.

Internet Safety Websites to help educate parents to protect their children from Internet Predators:

SafeKids.com - http://www.safekids.com
Wired Safety - http://www.wiredsafety.org
I-Safe - http://www.isafe.org
I Keep Safe - http://ikeepsafe.org/--index.php

Parent's Universal Resource Experts & Sue Scheff: Coping with Cell Phone Addiction from Psych Central by John M. Grohol, Psy.D.

As cellphones have become prevalent in modern society, some people have a significant issue with not being able to disengage from their cell phone. So-called “smart phones,” which combine functionality of an organizer, browsing the Internet, playing tunes, and taking pictures, only worsen the reliance on one’s cell phone. While using such devices for everyday tasks, work, and socializing with friends and family is perfectly normal, not being able to put them down while engaged in a conversation with your significant other or a friend who’s sitting in front of you may denote an increasing problem.

According to research on cell phone addiction, addiction danger signs included running up huge bills and having irrational reactions to being without a phone if you forgot or lost your mobile.

According to that same research, 22 percent of these people considered themselves to be heavy or very heavy users and 8 percent had experienced monthly bills that were over $500.

What to Do to Better Cope with Cell Phone Addiction
If you feel like you can’t part from your cell phone or have run up huge bills unexpectedly, don’t worry, there are some steps you can take to bring your relationship with your cell phone back down to earth.

1. Track your cellphone use. Yes, it’s a pain to do, but the more you keep track of the time you spend messaging or talking on your cellphone, the better you’ll be able to control it. Jot down in a notepad when you’re talking, messaging, or conducting other activities on the phone. Keep the journal for a week’s time, then review the amounts of time you’re spending on each activity.

2. Start the weaning. Now that you know you’re spending 10 hours a week on messaging, it’s time to start cutting back. Take it slow and start with the least important activity you use your phone for. Commit to reducing the time spent on that phone activity just 10% the first week. So if you’re spending 10 hours a week on messaging, aim for 9 hours the next week. That means being more conscious each time you’re using the phone for that activity, and trying to cut things short sooner rather than later.

3. Commit to being in the moment. One of the reasons people use their cell phones as much as they do is to be with another person in another place. That’s fine when we’re waiting in line at the post office, but less acceptable when your significant other or a friend is trying to have a conversation with you. Commit to turning the cell phone off, or at least putting it away out of sight, when engaged in a face-to-face conversation with another person. It’s not only helpful to your addiction, it’s far less rude and you may be surprised to learn you’ll regain these people’s respect.

4. You don’t need that kind of connection. So many people spend so much time on their cellphones because they believe it is a necessary part of their connections with others, or with their ability to be reached and respond instantly to any and all kinds of communications. For what purpose? If you need such hyperactive connectivity, that suggests something isn’t entirely healthy with some of those relationships to begin with. Quality social, work and romantic relationships aren’t built on 180 character sarcastic notes constantly exchanged with one another. While it’s fun for a time, it’s not going to lead to a higher-quality relationship or a better, more enjoyable life (especially if it’s creating anxiety and problems in your existing life).

5. You’re not as important as you think you are. Some people check email via their cell phone incessantly (e.g., “crackberry”) because they believe something so important might come up it requires their immediate attention. Sure, I can understand in some positions, some jobs, that’s true. But for 99.9% of people and jobs, it is not. Even if you’re the CEO of a company, there’s virtually nothing that could come up that can’t wait until you get back to the office. Remember, if it’s that important, someone will call you.

6. Turn it off. Yes, that’s right. Turn it off. There’s nothing you need to do in the middle of the night that the cell phone will alert you to that won’t be there in the morning (unless you happen to be the President, then you might want to keep your cell phone handy). By turning it off and putting it away, you’re taking back conscious control of your life and this little piece of technology. Instead of it calling to you, you’re telling it, “Hey, I’ve had enough for one day. Seeya in the morning.” Set a deadline every evening for a time to retire the technology, and then don’t check or use it again until the next morning.

7. Technology works for us, not the other way around. If technology is taking control of your life — creating stress, anxiety, arguments with other people in your life, or financial hardships — then you have a backwards relationship with technology. Technology works for us. If it’s not working for you, you’re chosen to be on the losing side of the relationship, and it’s time to put a stake in the ground and take responsibility and control for your use of the technology. Set aside specific times of the day or evening you will use your cell phone, for instance, rather than checking it every moment you get.

Cell phone addiction doesn’t have to ruin your life, your work, or your relationships with others. If these tips still don’t help, it might be a sign that cell phone addiction is more of an issue in your life than you realized. A psychotherapist who has experience in treating addictions can often help in such a case, and it is a treatment you should explore if you can’t reduce cell phone use on your own.

What's Related


Other articles by John M. Grohol, Psy.D.

Understanding More about Sexual Addiction
What Is Sexual Addiction?
Is Sexual Addiction a Recognized Disorder?
More articles about holiday coping
If You Think You Have a Problem with Sexual Addiction
If Someone You Know Has a Problem with Cocaine
Helping a Person Who Is Codependent
Symptoms of Sexual Addiction
Self Quiz: Am I Addicted to Sex?
A Tale of Two Diseases